Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing? The War Against Relationships

Have you ever had a friend send you something about dating online? And you're like, that can't be real. That has to be satire. This is the most asinine thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, that's how I have felt over the course of the last few days. After one of my friends sent me this Vogue article that I'm sure you've now heard of, titled is Having a boyfriend Embarrassing now?

I think that this war, and I'm not even going to necessarily say only the war against men, but it's a war against relationships and human connectedness is definitely getting out of control. More people now than ever have given up on dating, have given up on relationships. Worse, people are having sex than ever before. There are statistics that by 2040, 50% of women are going to be single and childless.

You have a lot of people who say, well, that's a good thing. A lot of people would say, that's a bad thing. I'm not a woman. I'm not here to decide whether you not want to be single or childless. But I am saying it's a little stark and we should be paying attention. Now, looking at this article, I read it and I couldn't help but think to myself, wow, this is incredibly defamatory towards men.

Yet again, here we are in this world where it's everyone against men. I cannot tell you the number of my friends who have completely given up on dating. And I don't mean kind of. I mean, they're done. Like highly prosperous, successful men who have their shit together have just said, I'm done with this. It's like literally walking into a war field every single day.

The Attack on Masculinity

So here's the thing. I want to play devil's advocate here for a little bit because, well, that's what I want to do. I see this in twofold. So I made some bullet points about some things that I want to talk about. First and foremost, there is definitely an attack against men and masculinity that I think has gone on for far long enough.

I mean, it's wild. I even saw this post the other day where this woman was saying that men should not have men's mental health Month. Do you know that four out of five people who un alive themselves are men? There is a lot happening in our minds, in our bodies and our souls and our spirits. And I'm not saying women don't have it too, because obviously.

But the reality is like the constant attacks are wild to me. Now, here's the truth. There are a lot of men who are incredibly weak. Weak men lead to hard times. That is what has transpired and we are in the hardest time, in my opinion, as someone who's 40 years old that I've ever been in in my life, especially when it comes to the gender norms of the world.

I think about this a lot. We have weak men, we have absent men, and we have men like me, like my friends, like a lot of my community who are strong, who are grounded, who are well put together. And it's like we walk out into the world every day and we talk about these weak men. Now, ladies, you probably don't see it because we don't put it out into the world. In the same way women tend to write, we communicate differently. We talk about these weak men because we are embarrassed by them. We are embarrassed by the guy who's sitting in the basement at 35, who doesn't have a career, who doesn't know how to talk to women, who is unkempt, who doesn't go to the gym. We talk about these guys, trust me.

And we sit and we just ask ourselves, what do we do about this? I was lucky enough to lead a group of men over the last couple of years called Unbroken Men, and I saw some major transformations, but to say that we're lost few and far in between. Men are at the level that they're capable of being at right now.

Social Media and the Keeping Up with the Joneses Effect

And I think a lot of this has to do with this media's propaganda. And what happens is you tell someone a story long enough, they start to believe it. Right? And I think this is starting to happen. Next, we have this thing about social media where it's really keeping up with the Joneses. You have a high profile woman come in and talk about the fact that I don't like to share my boyfriend online.

We see I saw this picture the other day of this woman getting engaged. All of her boyfriends photos had a blur on his face. If that was my girlfriend fiancé, we would be over real fast, quick, and in a hurry. And I think that we live in this really strange time where women have put this impetus on. What does another woman on social media think about me more than what do I think about me?

And more importantly, what do I think about my relationship? I mean, I think it's insane that women would believe that it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend. Like, what planet are we living in? That's not. That's, by the way, not independence. It's not independence that is social media management at its finest. That is you taking your image and your personal brand and saying, I'm not aligned with the idea that two people could be happy, especially myself.

So I'm going to find embarrassment in it. I don't understand that. It's it's lost on me because you're going to have this whole generation of people who are going to look back on this time, and they're going to recognize that they've been pulled apart by the media system to actually hate each other. There is a world spread indoctrination happening right now, and especially particularly in the West and North America, where we are pitting males and females against each other in relationship dynamics.

The Real Beneficiaries: AI Companies

And the beneficiary of this, as crazy as this is going to sound, is going to be massive. I companies watch I saw Tom Bill you talk about this and it blew my mind. A.I. companies with the technology have the ability to make you feel companionship, whether it be through your ChatGPT boyfriend or your remote control vibrator. The same goes for men VR.

Adult films are at the most viewed that they've ever been. More VR devices are being sold every single day. Scott Galloway talked about the fact that there are less than 60% was a stat I'm going to butcher, so I apologize. He said less than 40% of men under the age of 25 I've ever approached a woman in public.

What? Where does that come from? Well, you can insert conversation about the MeToo movement. You can insert conversation about feminism. You can insert conversation about black pill. There's a lot of different things that you can talk about here. But what I see happening is this stark movement towards this idea that we don't need each other, guys, this is where we're losing the battle, right?

So people are always talking about Terminator and Judgment Day and Skynet, and we're all going to die in this hellfire from the machines taking us, and then the matrix, and we'll go down that rabbit hole. That's not it. That's not where the dismantlement happens. The dismantlement is happening right now. We're seeing it everywhere. It's insane to me. And you're starting to see this happen also, because the reality is, at the end of the day, there's a hypocrisy that's happening.

The Statistics Don't Lie

There's a massive hypocrisy. We sit here and we look at the world, and our culture is always saying to us, go be in a relationship, go find love, go and be with another human being so that you have somebody in this battle with that you can confide in and rely on. And there is statistical evidence that single women over the age of 25 are the most unhappy segment of people in America.

And yet when you look at the consumerism of content like this, it's anchored towards women mid 20s to mid 30s. And so you are part of the propaganda machine that is making you believe that having a boyfriend is embarrassing. Now look, having an embarrassing boyfriend is embarrassing. If your boyfriend sucks. Well, two things come to mind. One, what does that say about you?

And I mean this in a kind way, because we have to do self inventory and often enough we don't. And I will tell you, I have been the embarrassing boyfriend. Go look at my wife. When I was 25, I was 350 pounds, smoking two packs a day, drinking myself to sleep, playing video games. Had a failing business. I was not showing up. I was not leading. I was not being a man. And I will say this I was raised by women because I had an absentee father and an abusive stepdad. And so I didn't know how to be masculine. My best friend and I talk about this all the time that we had to learn how to be men. And now we're in this place where men can't even learn how to be men.

Learning to Be a Man in a World That Won't Let You

It is impossible at times to be a man in this society. And so now we have all of this coming down, and the women are so disconnected because of expectation and entitlement. And ladies, listen to me. I understand because I get it. You don't want to be with a guy like the guy I was. I don't blame you, by the way.

And I think a lot of guys are really, really missing the mark on masculinity right now. But every single time articles like this come out, and every single time we start beating up men about the idea that they are embarrassing, that they don't matter, that they're not important. Ask yourself, who works the construction jobs? Who works the sewer jobs?

Who are the plumbers? Who are the electricians? Who are the majority of people leading the workforce in tech? And that's not to say women don't have a place because they do. And I love seeing women succeed. It's the excuse me, society does not work without men. Period. It doesn't. I saw this insane video, and it makes me really, really aggressively uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable? Where this woman was talking about that boys at birth should be castrated. This was not I, by the way. This was a real woman saying something real on the internet. And this is crazy to me. We are on a path of destruction, plain and simple. We are on a path to destruction. We are going to have a tremendous amount of people who are more lonely than ever, who are going to be taking their own lives more than ever, who are going to have more regrets than ever that they are 50, 60, 70 years old and never been married and don't have children.

Media Propaganda Is Influencing Our Decisions

And this media propagation is influencing our decision making at a clip that is so dangerous and so detrimental that I think all of us need to check ourselves, myself included. By the way. You know, I look at my past relationships over the course of the last decade, and I've really started to question, like why I was in it because it's having a girlfriend.

Embarrassing. Well, having an embarrassing girlfriend is embarrassing, right? And so I think that we need to start having clarity. We need to start having better communication. Also, I think that we need to get to this place where we recognize that we are being put against each other. This is going to get worse before it gets better. It's terrifying to me.

That said, if you are dating and if you are in a relationship, if you are like me and you're hopeful and you believe in love and you believe in the idea that you can have a good friend and good sex and a good time and build something together, but you feel a little bit lost right now. One of the things that you're probably missing is communication.

So I put together this communication guide called the 66 Questions You Should Ask if you go to Unbrokenlove.com/66, you can get it. It's free. It's right there for you. It's all of the questions that I believe that you should ask if you want to have a healthy, viable relationship. Because the question you should not be asking is having a boyfriend embarrassing?

No. I said, my friend, take care of yourself. Take care of each other. And until next time, be unbroken. I'll see you.